Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Word Count: 364
Summary: There are some things better left unknown.
Notes: Spoilers up to episode 3:6 - Torn.
Helo asked her, once, if she still loved the Chief.
She never asked him if he still loved Boomer.
He'd made the distinction all too clearly, once. She was the impostor - a Cylon - and Boomer was his, the woman he had loved. And then, when he got it, she wasn't sure he'd made the distinction at all. She had Boomer's memories; she looked like Boomer, smiled like Boomer, smelled like her. She could speak of her time on board Galactica, of her time as his Raptor pilot, as though she had been there. As far as her brain is concerned, she was.
Her body knows different.
Once, she wasn't sure she'd made the distinction herself. But now she knows.
She can remember those closest to her as if she had always known them. As if she had been a daughter, a sister, a friend. Those memories are not hers, but they are a part of her nonetheless. She had not emerged, fully formed, in the forest on Caprica; she is a product of a shared heritage, human and Cylon both.
Helo understands, she thinks. They can reminisce over shared memories, but they both walk a fine line between forgetting a part of her that is important, and making it more important than it should be.
She shares Boomer's memories, but her body had never walked these halls until she was led to the brig; had never worn the wings of an officer until she was sworn in a second time. She could do what Boomer could not, could tell Tyrol she was happy for him and Cally, and mean it; could love Helo unreservedly.
But sometimes, she wonders. Wonders if he ever wishes that Boomer had been the one to rescue him. Wonders if he would have chosen Boomer's love over hers. Wonders how important Boomer's memories are to him, and how far she can really claim them as her own.
She wonders if he still loves Boomer. But she will never ask, and he will never answer.
There are some things, she knows, for which there are no answers. And there are some things which are better left unknown.